Director's Notes
Having been a twin until my brother died at age 20, I have walked through life as an indefinable item. Was I a twin, or not? Did I used to be a twin, or did I remain a twin? It was unclear, but it didn't matter at the time. The reality was that I took up a lot of space, had a big mouth and many lovers.
In the space of a handful of years, all that changed -1 wedding (my daughter), 4 funerals of close family members and the breakup op my couple (of 17 years)-. And with the changes, came the questions: the personal ones, but also the bigger ones.
I took a break to try to come to grips with it all and I set off to India for a few months. The essay that I intended to write 'X-Ray of Today' was never written. Instead, I wrote a very personal tale Diaries of a Twin. It helped me to revisit a period of my life that –I realised quickly- had been left unresolved and that I kept dragging along like a heavy rucksack.
Usually twins don't talk about themselves. It is enough just being twins. Having lost my twin brother at age 20, I had experienced twin hood both from within and from without. I don't know if that makes me an expert but it urged me to wanting to know more about twin hood. Death is still a major taboo in our society. But if one half of a twin dies, the taboo becomes complete. We assume we will leave the world as we entered it – together.
Being a filmmaker, I decided that my very personal experience could be the backbone for a documentary about twins and the loss of a twin.
Lone Twin/Pas de Deux is built around my personal experience but I hope it will connect with anyone striving to understand intimacy and the search for the perfect soul mate.
Anna Van der Wee
September 2011